So, I’ve once again found myself in this thing called school. And I’m not actually sure how I feel about it. I mean, since when do we have to read a hundred pages or more of textbook… in a day???
No, university has actually been great so far. And it’s also been hard and stressful. Let me take you on my journey the past week…
So, on Sunday, I entered my dorm for the first time and explored this whole weird thing where absolute strangers room together and it’s totally fine. Found out my room mate is pretty awesome and we actually get along amazingly well. Then, everyone was hanging out, goofing off and generally getting to know one another. And it was actually a lot of fun. Little did I know the storm that was coming.
*insert ominous music*
Wednesday was my first day of classes: Syllabus Day. And I actually wasn’t too nervous before the start of the day, but you better believe that by the end of the day I was more than a little concerned. I mean, each professor that I have has their entire semester planned out with all of the assignments and exams. For a girl who has never taken a college exam, never written a college paper and doesn’t even really know what that looks like, that’s extremely intimidating. I really want to do well, my absolute best, but I have this crazy fear that I’m going to write my first paper, get it back and realize that I actually can’t write. I know that sounds really crazy, but I’m hard core struggling with some serious insecurities right now.
Or I guess I should say I was. I’ve been able to chat with most of the people that are most important to me in the past 2 or 3 days and they’ve all basically told me the same thing: 1. Get a grip! 🙂 (in the nicest possible way) 2. Stop listening to the voices of doubt, and start listening to the right voices. 3. You’ll be fine. You can totally do this!
I love my dear family and friends who love me enough to tell me to stop being silly. 🙂 And the fact is, they’re all right. Absolutely right. I can’t control my actual grades in school. The only thing I can do is my best, get the help I need and give the rest to my Lord. And technically, He already has it taken care of.
Actually, the biggest voice that has been calming my fears has been Christ’s. I keep saying that I don’t know how I can do this, I’m going to need a lot of help. And all I hear in response is “All you need is ME. Stop looking for strength and peace elsewhere. You won’t find lasting support anywhere but from ME. Let go of your need to control all that’s happening to you and allow me to guide you. Trust Me. ”
So, am I still stressed? Sure. Am I unsure of myself? Absolutely! But I’m preaching the truth to myself now and spending my time with Christ and listening to His voice instead of my own.
Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing.”
Prayer Requests: I feel like there’s a lot of spiritual attacks going on with the people around me. Please join with me in being a prayer warrior for those around us that are under attack. And please lift up this semester for all of us university students. I’m sure we would all appreciate it!