“Humble me, help me be in a right place with You. When I look in Your face and I’m touched by Your grace, and I see You for who You are.”
Since the planning stages of me going to NOLA, I’ve been asking God to humble me and help me to be teachable. I realized that without humility, I’m going to be focused more on my plan for serving the Lord instead of having a soft heart and asking God to show me His plan. And I can’t get over the fact that I’m so thankful that God knows much better than I do. If God hadn’t led me to seek His plan, and I had gone through with my plan, I would have been spending the summer in Haiti. And I know now, (this is me in full humility and vulnerability here…) that my plan was wrong. I don’t know how I would have survived a full summer in Haiti. I’m not saying that God wouldn’t have used me or taught me or that I wouldn’t have been able to serve Him there. I’m just saying that God has made it very clear to me this summer that He wanted me in NOLA and He does NOT want me in Haiti anytime in the near future.
And that’s hard for me to admit. Like I said last week, I had a hard time with that in Haiti as well. I don’t like admitting I was wrong. I don’t like not knowing the answers. I don’t want to say that I wasn’t fully listening to God when I made MY plan for this summer. But, I have to. I was wrong. Period. And I’m so thankful that God is much bigger than my plan and He is able to make that clear to me. In hindsight, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. But now that I have seen the results and seen that it’s better that way, I’m praying constantly that God will never allow me to return to that prideful me that I was. And with God’s help, I pray that I will continue to be humbled more.
I’m not saying these things to show off my attitude. Being truly humble means being a servant. Being a servant means obeying my Master without question, without reservation and right away. It means not being proud of my servitude. It’s crazy how we can get pride of how humble we are… 🙂 I mean, what is that?!?! I’m saying this to share with you my story of seeing first hand the results of following my Master vs. seeing what my summer would have been like not following God’s best plan for me.
Also, my dear Chilean friend and roommate Cristi is leaving tomorrow morning. I’m really sad. She’s the third of my intern friends to leave me and it’s becoming extremely hard. I’ve loved being with these people and learning from them. I love them dearly and it’s hard for me to realistically face the reality that I might not see them ever again here on earth. But I praise God for Cristi and who she is and the impact she’ made in my life! Please pray for her as she flies to… CANADA!!!! to kayak with orcas and have all kinds of crazy adventures before she heads to Chile. Pray for safety and continued guidance as she returns to Chile and figures out the “what next?”