Ok, so coming back from Haiti, I honestly was really nervous. I knew that a lot of people would be asking me about the trip: “Did you love it?” How was it?” “What was your favorite part?” “What was it like?” … And I had no idea how to answer those questions.
Because the truth is… I wanted so desperately to go to Haiti and fall in love with the people and the culture… and I didn’t. I care about those people and I’m fully supportive of what’s going on down there to help Haiti become strong again. I fully support ReachGlobal’s mission to help Haitians help Haiti. I think that’s all awesome, and God definitely taught me some things while there, but it definitely wasn’t what I was expecting.
I never had one of those “ah-ha” moments while in Haiti, I was never on a spiritual high, and I never felt super emotional about what I saw. I didn’t arrive and get shocked about what I saw. I saw what I expected to see, and while the poverty bothered me, it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it should. I couldn’t walk through the village that we were in and feel sorry for the people of Gressier, Haiti…. mainly because the people of Gressier don’t feel sorry for themselves. They’re perfectly content with their lives. They may not have much physically, but they are a rich people in their community and love for the people around them. And I know that there is starvation in Haiti, but it’s not nearly as bad as I was expecting. These people are surviving, and are sustainable. They’ve learned how to live with a little bit less food than most American’s are used to. And one of the only reasons that the kids were constantly begging us for water and food was because we were white, and white people came and just handed stuff out after the earthquake. Not because they needed it. I had one little boy just beg and beg me for water, with a forlorn face and because we weren’t allowed to hand out stuff, I said no. But this little boy had a well full of clean water just a minute’s walk away, and he was fine. I even saw one girl with a bottle full of clean water who sat down and just dumped it all out.
It was hard for me to feel this way. I wanted the opposite to happen. But some things that I’ve realized: I came to Haiti with certain expectations and that was what disappointed me. The reason that I didn’t have an “ah-ha” moment was that God’s been teaching me a ton all of this time. It wasn’t a one in a while thing for me and so God was just continuing to mold me and teach me as He always has done. And in all honesty, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been changed a ton this summer and have grown so much and I’m so excited about what God is doing. This also means that the things that my team were learning and talking about, I wasn’t. Some of the things I’ve also learned was a bit of discernment in seeing what God’s given me to serve Him with and where that could be.
All in all, I’m super glad I got the opportunity to go to Haiti! I’m glad that I got to meet the interns and get to know them and the rest of the staff in Haiti. I’m excited about the team and the community that we created in Haiti! I’m excited I got the opportunity to see what missions looked like in a completely different culture. It all looked a little different than I expected it to.
Prayer Request: I’ve actually been extremely tired since I returned from Haiti. It’s been pretty frustrating to not feel quite up to doing all of the things I should or want to do. Please pray for renewed energy and the God would restore me and help me to finish out these next couple of weeks out strong!